The headmaster of the agriculture school I attended asked me, ‘What’s up with you?
You seem so much happier and talk more.’ ‘My parents have got divorced,’ I said joyfully.
Their divorce was like a weight being lifted from my shoulders and heart.
Later I would learn of my spirit and my soul journey.
This was the beginning of my letting go journey. I didn’t have to listen anymore to my
father’s complaints, receive his beatings, hear him telling me that I was ugly, stupid or crazy.
I was even able to sit down without being shouted at. In our family, rest or leisure
was equal to laziness. It was a waste of their time, not mine. I have used a lot of
energy trying to live ‘other people’s time’. I have done a lot of negative thinking
and, especially, negative feeling. Now I’m done with it!
How does a child start to feel or think negatively about him or herself?
Why does a child think, ‘I can’t do this, I can’t do that, I am not allowed.
Who do I think I am?’ Here are some examples of the many ‘loving’ messages
I received from my father during my teenage years:
‘You are so ugly. I don’t understand how your pretty friends can bear to walk with you on the street.’
Another was, ‘You are so stupid. Do you really think anybody is going to listen
to what you have to say?’ ‘Good for nothing, that’s what you are.’
When a child hears this kind of thing, it can take them a long time before
they can learn to let go of the unkind words. Some can never let go and
will be tormented by them for ever. Negative words are very powerful.
They act like venom and can kill your pure self. First it suﬀocates and you can’t breathe properly. Soon it’s difficult to think, to feel or to be yourself. Why do we keep taking in negativity more then positivity? Because when we hear only negativity every day, we are brainwashed into believing
it is the truth. Self-love is really the only thing that suits you best.
Excerpt page 18: Love is the Essence of the Soul Chrysalis.