Learn to like or love yourself. Love is not a give and take, but a sharing of what we
cherish. This gift was ours at birth. We are all born whole, but negative influences
may have distorted our self-image. To give back to yourself what you have lost or
feel you’ve lost along the way is the most important gift you can give yourself. What
kind of gifts do you need to bring your self back into balance? Are they emotional,
spiritual or materialistic? Whatever form they take, you know yourself.
DO THIS EXER CISE WITHOUT JUDGING YOURSELF OR OTHERS
1. Think about all the things you didn’t get when you were a child or a teenager,
or at whichever stage in your life you felt neglected. For example, was it the red
shoes you didn’t get, or the blue bike? Was it a hug, the ‘well done’ pat on the
shoulder, or a compliment you were longing for?
2. Make a list of the things that you didn’t get but feel you still need today to make
your life happier and whole again. Then meditate on them.
3. Once a week, take one or two things on your list and find a practical way to
give these to your inner child. This will help you as an adult to feel better about yourself.
Give in whichever way feels good to you. Let the child and the adult reach out to
each other in kindness and understanding so they can integrate into a whole. When
they come together as a unity, you won’t be afraid, angry or sad anymore. You feel
stronger, braver and happier. Tell yourself that you do not want to suffer anymore
of anger, depression, fear, sadness, low self-esteem or whatever else is holding you
back from learning to be kinder to yourself.
If you find it difficult to visualise this, think about how you would feel if you
saw a child crying out in fear. Imagine how you could help this child, offering them
kindness, understanding and respect. When you visualise this, translate it to you
your own frightened, angry or sad inner child. Don’t rush yourself. Give yourself
enough time to find your own answers. Wrap yourself in a supportive and calm energy.
At the same time, don’t give yourself too much time, because then you will be
giving too much to that highly skilled child who has learned to survive with all its
tricks and excuses. In your own time remind your inner child to understand that he
or she has safely grown up into an adult in both mind and body, so can let go of your childlike patern.