Don’t wait for others to give you what it is you need to feel good about yourself. Learn to like or love yourself. Love is not a give and take, but a sharing of what we cherish. This gift was ours at birth. We are all born whole, but negative inﬂuences may have distorted our self-image. To give back to yourself what you have lost or feel you’ve lost along the way is the most important gift you can give yourself. What kind of gifts do you need to bring your self back into balance? Are they emotional, spiritual or materialistic? Whatever form they take, you know yourself. DO THIS EXERCISE WITHOUT JUDGING YOURSELF OR OTHERS 1. Think about all the things you didn’t get when you were a child or a teenager, or at whichever stage in your life you felt neglected. For example, was it the red shoes you didn’t get, or the blue bike? Was it a hug, the ‘well done’ pat on the shoulder, or a compliment you were longing for? 2. Make a list of the things that you didn’t get but feel you need today to make your life happier and whole again, then meditate on them. 3. Once a week, take one or two things on your list and find a practical way to give these to your inner child. This will help you as an adult to feel better about yourself. Give in whichever way feels good to you. Let the child and the adult reach out to each other in kindness and understanding so they can integrate into a whole. When they come together as a unity, you won’t be afraid, angry or sad anymore. You feel stronger, braver and happier. Tell yourself that you do not want to suﬀer anymore of anger, depression, fear, sadness or low self-esteem or whatever else is holding you back from learning to be kinder to yourself. If you find it difficult to visualise this, think about how you would feel if you saw a child crying out in fear. Imagine how you could help this child, oﬀering them kindness, understanding and respect. When you visualise this, translate it to you your own frightened, angry or sad inner child. Don’t rush yourself. Give yourself enough time to find your own answers. Wrap yourself in a supportive and calm energy. At the same time, don’t give yourself too much time, because then you will be giving too much to that highly skilled child who has learned to survive with all its tricks and excuses. In your own time remind your inner child to understand that he or she has safely grown up into an adult in both mind and body.
DO NOT ALLOW YOUR UNHAPPY INNER CHILD TO RULE YOUR ADULT LIFE See how you feel the first time you give something to yourself that you thought you had lost for ever. You will no longer have to wait for someone else to give it to you. Learning to decipher what you feel and think, trusting your own emotions and decisions can make you feel good and confident again. If you are not into this kind of exercise and you feel you need something else, break your silence and look for someone to help you. Nowadays this is more accepted and it is seen as a sign of strength to ask for help. There are so many diﬀerent therapies available to help you voice your pain,
in order to free your spirit from the obstacles in your life. Don’t stay stuck in the barren nest you have lived in unhappily for so long. It is time to take positive control of your adult life.
EXCERPT OF MY BOOK: LOVE IS THE ESSENCE OF THE SOUL CHRYSALIS